I want to congratulate Tiger Woods for his win today. In case you didn't know, today he won his first golf tournament in two years. The first one since the threw his life down a fucking toilet. Jesus Christ was he not one of the dumbest pieces of shit in history? You have (correction: had), a woman that a gay guy would drool to fuck, lesbians would kill for and any straight man dreams of from magazines from when they snook Playboys from theirs moms nightstand. I mean seriously, one of the hottest women in history and you had to throw it all away for some ugly ass women. If they were hot, well I would still call you a piece of shit, but at least I could see whatever it was you saw attractive in those whores. Yes, they were whores. They knew he was married, fucking liars if they claim otherwise or dumber than a box of broken retarded nut size pebbles.
So congrats to Tiger Woods for losing sponsors, your smoking hot wife and your kids being an ocean away.
Oh and congrats on your win, now you can go home and celebrate with ... Um... Your dog?
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